EP 536 Why I Might Be the Worst Source of Success Mindset Advice — Challenging Authentic Success Habits

0:00 Oh my God. You wanna know what really pisses me off about the personal development space? Everyone's got a damn origin story. They're all out there like, I'm broke, I'm sleeping on my friend's couch. I was eating ramen noodles and then I discovered this one secret. That changed everything. Here's the thing, I'm about to tell you five reasons why you should probably ignore everything that I'm about to say, and if you're still listening to that, well maybe just, maybe you are ready for the truth about what it really takes to escape the matrix. What is up? What is up? What the hell is up? My fellow success seekers. Welcome back to another episode of the podcast, and I wanna get stuck right into it here.

0:40 I, I'm not gonna be talking about, Hey, this is what we talk about. You know, what we talk about around here, and if you don't know what we talk about, 'cause this is your first time, well then stick around and you're gonna learn it because today's episode we're gonna talk about. Five reasons that you should probably ignore everything. I'm about to tell you why I am really the worst person to teach you about escaping the nine to five, and that's exactly what makes me the right person. Yeah, first, first off, I'm gonna be shattering the myth. You need to follow someone else who has made it. He says, with air quotes, because most of those success stories out there are just carefully crafted pieces of fiction designed to separate you from your wallet. Second, you're gonna discover why my biggest failures might be more valuable than anyone else's.

1:23 Highlight reel and how the scars from losing everything twice, maybe even three times, has taught me what actually works in the real world. And then third, I'm gonna reveal the uncomfortable truth about why I still struggle with my own advice sometimes and why that makes me more qualified, not less to guide you through your. Transformation. Look, here's a truth bomb. That's gonna make some people a tad bit uncomfortable. Most personal development gurus, yeah, they're just selling you a fantasy. They're peddling you. The idea that success is a straight line from broke to breakthrough, and all you need to get there is their $2,997 course. To unlock that secret.

2:03 That's not just wrong. That's dangerous, ladies and gentlemen, because it sets you up to believe that if you are not seeing instant results, then you are doing something wrong, or worse yet you might be broken. Let me tell you the moment that I realized that I was just full of shit. Okay? It was, I dunno, was it 2009? I was standing in front of a, a room full of entrepreneurs giving this polished presentation. I was an experienced speaker, I believe it was, it was entitled The Seven Steps to Unstoppable Success. I had the slides, I had all my stories. I had my perfectly timed. Pauses. I even looked the part. Okay. Maybe my long hair was, long Hair was a little outta place, but you know what I'm talking about.

2:44 But inside, yeah, that was a different story. Inside I was dying, you see, three months earlier, my second, or was it my third business? Had imploded, not failed, imploded, and I lost everything again. The house, the savings, the confidence. I was 47 years old starting over for the third time, and here I was standing in front of a group of people teaching them how to succeed. Ah, ah. Can you say the words cognitive distance. That cognitive dissidence was crushing me after the presentation. This young woman, probably in her early thirties, reminds me of my daughter today. She came up to me with tears in her eyes, no joke. She was literally weeping. She says, thank you for showing me that.

3:25 It's possible. I have been stuck in my corporate job for eight years, and you have just given me hope. Pow. That's when it hit me. She wasn't inspired by my success. She was inspired by my humanity, by the fact that I was still fighting, that I was still trying, that I was still getting up, dusting myself up and getting back at it every time I got knocked down. That night I went through and threw away just about every polished presentation I'd ever created, and I had a number of them. I decided if that's what's going to help people, that I'm gonna be telling them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even the parts that made me look like I didn't quite have it figured out, you know what they say, warts and all. Especially those parts.

4:06 So here are the five reasons you should probably ignore everything I'm about to tell you and why each one at the same time kind of makes me more qualified to guide you through your escape plan than most other folks. Reason number one. I don't have a rags to riches story. I wasn't born poor. I didn't couch surf on anyone's couch over years of my life. I didn't discover success at 19 and retire at 25. Nope. I'm just a middle class military kid who became a corporate marketing and inventory director, and I made some decent money. I had a corner office for a while. I drove a nice car from the outside. Many folks would tell you. He's made it, but inside I was suffocating the real stories, my friends. I don't think it's in the rags to richest stories.

4:46 It's riches to meaning stories. You know, it, it's, it's trading the golden handcuffs for actual freedom. And if you're listening to this show, chances are you're not starting from zero either, are you? No. Right. Most folks that are listening to this show have something in their pocket. You're starting from somewhere that might look successful to other people. Maybe even to yourself, but it still feels empty. Yeah. Some of you're nodding your head with me right now, like it would bear with me. That right there, that's a different kind of prison and it requires a different kind of escape plan. Okay. Reason number two, I. Yep. Here it comes. I have failed way more than I have succeeded. Yeah. Here's what those highlight reels that you see on TikTok will not show you. I've started seven.

5:28 I think it's seven. Seven businesses, three completely failed, two barely broke even. And one made decent money, but it killed my marriage. But if I'm honest, that marriage wasn't right for me. Anyway. But that's, that's a whole nother podcast episode. Only one. The current one actually aligns. With who I am, with, who I am proud to be. Most gurus will tell you about their wins every day, all day long. I want to tell you about my losses because that's where the real education lives. Sure, there's some education in the wins, but the real education that deep down change your world education. Comes from the losses. When my first consulting business fell on its face, I learned that passion without systems is just expensive therapy.

6:08 When the second one imploded, I learned that success without alignment is just a prettier prison. We've talked about that before around here, have we? Mm-hmm. Those failures, they weren't really failures, they were setbacks, right? There were setups for a comeback. They were education, expensive and painful, but necessary education. Reason number three, I still have a day job sort of. Okay. I'm not typing this from my yacht in Monaco. Nope. Nope. I don't have a team of 47 virtual assistants, not even a team of AI assistants. I still do client work, and I still have bills to pay. Here's what that means for you. I understand the transition. I know what it's like to build something while you're still trapped in something else. I know the fear of leaving security or uncertainty.

6:50 Yeah. Most of the people teaching escaped nine to five haven't really worked a nine to five, especially not for a long period of time. They, most of them that I have seen have went from college to entrepreneurship. They never experienced the real soul crushing reality of corporate life. I have for more than 20 years. I know what it feels like to die a little bit each and every day in the job that pays you okay, but kills your spirit. Yeah. Reason number four, I don't follow my own advice sometimes. Sorry, this being real with you last month. Spent maybe three days doom scrolling on social media instead of working on my project, my book, my course, my lessons, my podcasts two weeks ago, I skipped my morning routine for 14 days straight.

7:36 Yeah, I did. And yesterday, I think it was yesterday, maybe it was the day before yesterday, I ate reheated Pizza. For lunch, I'm not perfect. I'm not disciplined 24 7 365, and I do not have superhuman willpower. But here's the thing. I know how to get myself back on track. I know the difference between a temporary setback and a permanent failure, and I know how to forgive myself, get myself up and start again. That's not a weakness that my friends is a superpower because life isn't about never falling down. Everyone falls down. That's how you learn to walk. It's about getting really good at propping yourself back up, dusting yourself back off, sometimes wiping the cock off your face and taking that next step forward.

8:16 And reason number five, I can't promise you that you'll get rich. Nope. Sorry. You've come to the wrong place. I can't promise that you'll make six figures in six months. Nope. And you'll never see me say anything like that. I can't promise that you'll retire early. I can't promise that you will never, ever have to work again. I can promise you this. If you follow the principles that I teach, you'll build something that's yours. You'll wake up excited about what it is you're doing, who it is you're doing with, instead of dreading it, you'll have more control over your time, your life, your relationships, your income. And your impact. You might not be rich, but you'll be free. And for most of us, that's worth more than money. Yeah. Okay. Look, if you're still listening, how many minutes we are into this, it means you're probably tired of the polished BS that's out there.

9:01 You want someone who's been in the trenches, who's got muck on his face, who's made the mistakes, and who's willing to tell you the real ass truth even if it's not pretty. That's exactly what you'll get in my newsletter, the Unleash Your success DNA. Every week I share real strategies, miss failures, and hard won insights that actually work for people like you, people like me, people like us, the ones who are building something meaningful while still having to pay the damn bills. No hype, no false promises, just truth tactics, and occasional kick in the ass when you need it. And of course, a pat on the back. Okay. Sign up@yoursuccess.com because. If you're choosing Escape the Matrix, you need a guide that's actually been there, just saying, okay, now here's why I think this matters at, at a, at a bigger level.

9:46 We're living in an age of manufactured authenticity. Yes. Some of you are nodding. Some of you're like, what do you mean Tracy? Everyone's got a personal brand. Everyone's got a story. Everyone's got a story to tell. Everyone's selling you the dream. But what we are really hungry for is the truth, the real, messy, complicated get. Real with me, Tracy. Truth. The personal development industry has over the past few decades become this fantasy factory selling people the idea that transformation is easy, that success, yeah. It's inevitable that all you need is the right mindset and everything will just fall into place like Jenga blocks. M, that's not just wrong.

10:28 I think it can be harmful because when people don't see instant results, they start to blame themselves. Worse yet, they might even think they're broken or that they're not trying hard enough, or maybe that they don't have inside of them what it is it takes to be successful. I don't think any of that's true. The truth is transformation. It's hard building something meaningful takes time and guts and bloody knuckles and sweat and tears. The ones that are most qualified to guide you are the ones who have struggled and they kept going anyway. The ones who have stumbled and bumbled and fell and face planted right down into the horse shit, and then stood up, wiped it away, maybe even laughed at themselves, looked at what went wrong and started making corrections.

11:09 The people most qualified to guide you aren't the ones who've never struggled. Starter ones who struggled and kept going. Anyway, so lemme give you your whispered wisdom for today. Your sticky lesson for today is stop looking for perfect mentors and start looking for the honest ones. The person who can best help you isn't the one who has it all figured out. It is the one who's willing to share what, what they have figured out and what they are still. Figuring out in order to help you figure it out, your specific action for this week, identify one area where you've been seeking out that perfect advice. You know what I'm talking about? He says with air quotes, that perfect advice or where you have been waiting for that right mentor to come along.

11:50 Instead, find someone who's one step ahead of you, two or three steps ahead of you, and that person is willing to share their real world experiences with you, warts and all, because the path to your success isn't paved with gold and bricks, and it's certainly not paved with other people's highlight reels. It's built on honest conversations, hard work, and about what actually works out there in the real world. Okay, so. All that said, I can't promise you that following my, my advice will make you rich, will make you famous, or will make you instantly successful, confident, loving, adored by the masses, none of that. What I can promise you is that it will make you more honest with yourself about yourself and about what you really want and what it takes to get there.

12:35 And sometimes that honesty is the first step towards the freedom. You're probably really looking for. So stop waiting for permission. Stop looking for the perfect plan and start building something that's yours, one honest step at a time. With that, I'm gonna leave you as I always do, think successfully and take action.